Monday, 27th August, 2012

Hello, here's what's been happening in the news today.

Source: dailymail.co.uk

Brandon Mathison, a 13-year-old in the US was forced to stand at a busy intersection over the weekend wearing a sign saying 'Smoked pot, got caught! Don't I look cool? Not!' after his mother caught him smoking marajuana.

Although it does make you wonder, how did the mother know that what he was smoking was pot?



Also, the teenager said, "There are people stopping to talk to me."

If I had to guess, most of them were asking him "Why did you do it?" before following up with, "Where did you get them from?" as well as, "Why is there a purple unicorn spewing rainbows behind you?"



And can I just add, that when being punished, those being punished are not supposed to be smiling. Perhaps Brandon's mother should have thought the punishment through a bit better. Maybe times have changed, but the last time I checked, teenagers generally enjoy appearing on TV doing stupid things. Otherwise, we wouldn't have the shows like, 'Teen Mom' or "Wipeout."

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Source: thefitnesschamp.com

Scientists have warned that the world would have to switch to a vegetarian diet within 40 years due to an impending food crisis.

 

Also, scientists have predicted mankind's extinction in roughly 40 years time.

 

 

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Source: policesirens.org

 

 

Joshua Basso, a 32-year-old man from Florida, has been arrested after repeatedly calling 911 and asking for female deputies to come to his house and have sex with him.

 

Joshua finally realised what was happening when they arrested him and told him, "You have the right to remain silent" and not, "You have the right to remain horny."

 

 



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Source: people.com







According to the UK advertising watchdog, Madonna, who occasionally flashes her breasts to her audience, is said to be "too old" to have any impact on teenagers.

What? Was the UK advertising watchdog's audience test sample comprised solely of teenage girls, or something?

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And that's the news for tonight! See you all next time!

Friday, 24th August, 2012

Hello, here's what's been happening in the news today.

Photograph: Kate Geraghty

Network Ten's Chief Programming Officer, David Mott, has resigned from his position following the axing of his show 'Everybody Dance Now' this week on Tuesday, and the poor ratings on his newest show 'I Will Survive', despite having much success with other reality tv shows such as Big Brother, the Biggest Loser and MasterChef.

David decided to retire before anyone had a chance to vote him out of his position.

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Source: AAP

The NSW State Government and the Federal Government announced today that they will jointly implement a system along the length of the M4 which aims to reduce travel time and make commuting along the motorway safer.

And we all know how successful joing NSW and Federal Government plans are.



Source: dailytelegraph.com.au

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Source: Wikipedia

 

English Royal Officials have warned tabloids across Britain not to publish the nude photos of Prince Harry that came out earlier this week, saying if they do publish the photographs, they would be violating the prince's privacy.

Right, because preventing the photographs from being published in British tabloids, despite the fact that they have already been published on websites everywhere which are accessible to everyone in Britain, definitely protects the prince's privacy.

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Source: Google

 



Karin Tuxen-Bettman from Google Street View today visited a remote Inuit town as part of the company's goal to share with the rest of the world images of the Canadian Arctic.

The locals, having never seen such a device before, instantly attacked it after mistaking the tricycle for a polar bear.

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And that's the news for today! See you all next time!



Wednesday, 22nd August, 2012

Hello, here's what's been happening in the news today.

Source: AAP

The New South Wales government today has announced plans to introduce more flasing school zone lights to another 179 school zones across the state.

Which means if you are wondering if you or your child have epilepsy, well, you'll soon find out.

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Source:CelebrityFix

Lindsay Lohan, better known as LiLo, is once again in hot water with the police, this time in relations to allegations that she had allowed jewellery thieves into a house party she was attending.

Clearly she ignored the advice of her accomplices to lie low after the theft, but to be fair, it's understandable that she thought they were calling her name twice:

Thief: "Lie low, Lindsay Lohan."

Lidsay: "Umm...Hi?"

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Source: people.com

Prince Harry has been photographed in the nude, after inviting a few girls to his VIP suite in Las Vegas and playing with said girls a game of strip billards.

Although, I highly doubt that was the only game they played involving a pole and balls.

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Source: popgive.com



Three daycare workers in the US have been jailed after allegedly laughing and encouraging 3-year-old boys to fight, and video taping it.

Clearly, someone broke the first two rules of Fight Club, sir.

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And that's the news for tonight! See you all next time!

Tuesday, 21st August, 2012

Hello, here's what's been happening in the news today.

Source: ABC Environment

The Australian Greens today have voiced their concern on the Federal Government's "foolish decision" to opt out of protecting threatened Australian species, such as the koala.

If the Federal Government does not change their mind, the Australian Greens are prepared to unleash their secret weapon - Drop Bears



Source: webwill.blogspot.com

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Source: Grazia

ninemsn.com.au today published a link on their website titled: Orlando shoots Miranda in NZ.

Honestly, this was the first thing that popped into my mind. 



Source: thebookmemoirs.blogspot.com

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Source: Getty Images

Australian scientists have published an article in a US physics journal suggesting that the Big Bang Theory is wrong, and that the universe began more like the "cooling of water into ice".

This fascinating discovery will have a major impact in the everyday lives of just about no one.

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Source: wm.edu

A study in the US has found that university students choose to drink alcohol, not to feel the high that comes with being intoxicated, bur rather for social status.

Because puking all over the lawn is obviously the best way to gain any status.

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Source: Sugarpova



Russian tennis superstar, Maria Sharapova, has released her own line of candy, with twelve different types named with a catchy adjective that supposedly describes the Russian.

Because when I think of Maria Sharapova, the first thing that pops into mind my is definitely quirky, spooky or splashy.

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And that's the news for tonight! See you next time!

Monday, 20th August, 2012

Hello, here's what's been happening in the news today.

Photograph: Ed Jones

In this year's Miss World contest, Austarlia's Jessica Kahawaty finished third, while Wales' Sophie Moulds finished second, and China's Yu Wenxia finished first.

And here I was thinking that the Olympics were over.

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Photograph: Ray Strange

Opposition Leader Tony Abbott today was ejected from Parliament Question Time after Standing Order 94A was invoked by The Speaker Of The House.

I'm guessing he wishes that Order was dead, buried and cremated.

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Source: AAP









Republican Senate Candidate, Todd Akin, stated that "legitimate rape" rarely leads to pregnancy. 

So I'm guessing that's some consolation for the victim, that they can think, "Well I'm getting raped, but at least I most likely won't fall pregnant", right? God, Mr Akin, what the hell were you thinking?!

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And that's the news for today! See you next time!







Wednesday, 1st August, 2012

Hello, here's what's been happening in the news today.

Photograph: Kym Smith

Wayne Swan  today explained to an audience how US rock singer Bruce Springsteen had inspired his political prinicples.

Following this, Craig Emerson explained how Peter Garrett inspired his dance moves.

Source: abc.net.au

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Source: channelstv.com

Larry Wachowski, one of the directors and writers of the hit trilogy 'The Matrix', has undergone a sex change and is now known as Lana Wachowski.

It was a simple procedure. All he had to do was upload a program into the system.

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Source: justmysymbol.com

The United Nations human rights commissioner fears the continuation of a federal government intervention program in the Northern Territotry that was started by the Howard Government, may in fact do nothing to address the abuse and drunkenness in the region.

Do something, don't do something, it seems like either way you can't win as a politician.

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Source: ninemsn.com.au

Lowell Turpin, a 40-year-old man from Tennessee, USA, has been charged for allegedly striking his girlfriend after mistaking US presidential candidate Mitt Romney on her Facebook wall for a love rival.

Well, I guess we all know how he's voting this coming election.

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Source: Supplied

Western Australian Premier Colin Barnett has yet to give up on his $2 Billion dollar plan to build a 3700km waterway from the Kimberley to Perth.

This keeps it in the record books as being the most expensive pipe dream ever to be supported by just one man.

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And that's the news for tonight. See you next time!