Why the world did not end: Reason Two

Why the world did not end: Reason Two

Reason Two: It's the holidays.

There's a lot going through our minds during this time of year. Sure, we keep in mind that it's Santa's birthday, but the thing that comes up in our minds more often than not is, "Oh God, why do we have to spend the holidays with our family?!" And wouldn't you know it, God has a lot of things on His mind as well.

The hot-line to God is usually busy all year round, but come the holiday season, it seems that more and more people try to get in touch with him for whatever reasons they may have. And I guess it's good and all, you know, trying to find some meaning in your life. But think about it this way. How do you feel when telemarketers ring your number non-stop? Spare a thought for him will you!

On top of having to put up with this, it's His son's birthday coming up. You try thinking of a present for your child who literately has everything you could want - eternal life in paradise. That's ignoring the fact you have to think of a present to get your kid for over 2000 years. Not so easy, now is it?
So I'm not surprised He dropped the ball on this one and did not follow through with the whole end-of-the-world thing. He has made mistakes in the past as well. The black plague in Europe was because He decided to take a week off. World War 1 and 2 were because He blinked for a second. Really, Him forgetting to give us the apocalypse is not the end of the world for me (pun fully intended. zing!)

But perhaps it is mainly because we killed His son. Let me ask you this: If someone killed your  child, repented and asked to live in your house for all of eternity, would you say yes? I personally wouldn't.

So what's the moral of this story? Kill anyone who claims to be a Messiah, child of God, or a prophet. It's a sure-fire way of preveting the end of the world. Also, keep praying to God about your insgnificant problems even though there are bigger issues like child slavery, famine and poverty. It'll keep Him distracted long enough to miss the date He marked on His calendar, one that is either bigger than the Mayan's, or perhaps He subscribed to the revolutionairy idea the Mayans did not which was to buy/make a new one.