Monday, 31st December, 2012

Hello, here's what's been happening in the news today.

Source: abc.net.au/news

Many Fijians have been angered by the confiscation of the country's draft constitution by police, with some galley proofs set on fire as well.

What they did not know was that this was all part of the new National Treasure movie, which is just like all the other National Treasure movies, except this time Nicholas Cage is wearing tropical beach wear.

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Source: abc.net.au/news

It has been confirmed after two years of research, that a two-hundred year old handkerchief that was found in a dried squash, has in fact been dipped in the blood of King Louis XVI after his beheading.

 

Man the French CSI unit is slow. They should've sent it to the unit in Miami where they would've confrimed it in roughly forty-minutes to an hour.

 

 

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Source: abc.net.au/news

 

A study by the Sleep Health Foundation has found that roughly 20% of Australians suffer from fatigue and exhaustion due to a lack of sleep.

 

The other 80% sleep just fine because they don't get sex. Looks like there's finally a benifit to being single! Hi-Five partner...oh wait...

 

 

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That's the news for tonight! See you all next time!


Why the world did not end: Reason One

Why the world did not end: Reason One

Reason One: It was all a lie!

I know what you're thinking *in a silly voice* "Duh, Glenn! We all know that! We're evidently still here seeing as I'm reading this." But what if I told you it was the ingenious plans of various corporations to part you with your money? Bet you're feeling pretty silly now for mocking me, huh? No? Fine...

Anyways, with companies wanting to make more money, they have to find ways for people to spend more cash on things that they do not need. And when do they earn the most cash? Holidays, of course! Think about how much money a corporation gets on Christmas, on Valentines Day, on Easter. There's was only one thing stopping them from making even more cash. They were out of holidays. But they're smart. They know they can't just make a random happy holiday. No, they know us consumers will be too smart for that. After all, who's going to fall for ValenChrEaster Day?
So, what do they do? Hatch a dastardly scheme to trick everyone it's gonig to be the end of the world. Only catch is, they couldn't say the world was going to end the very next day or something. They needed to make it seem legit, and the only way they could have done so was to use some obscure, outdated calendar to bait their trap.

And so, they waited for the year 2012 to come. And when it did, boy did they reap their rewards. Let's take a look at the end-of-the-world safety pod industry. How often do you think they get orders to produce their products? I'm pretty sure their sales records is something like 2010: zero; 2011: zero; 2012 - a gazillion.

And what about the day after? I'm sure people decided to party hard and get drunk because they found out the world was still here. Oh, who am I kidding...We all know that us Australians would have found some other pointless excuse to party, even if the world had ended. In fact, I bet they would have gotten drunk after reasoning it was their last chance to do so.

Moral of the story? Spend money on the happy holidays we have like there's no tomorrow, lest you want the fear of there being no tomorrow. Don't have the cash? Then keep borrowing money from the bank, because it is okay to constantly live beyond your means and rack up a huge debt. And banks? Keep lending out money, even to those that you know can't pay you back. It won't jepordize your customer's future, your company, or the country. So go nuts!

And drink responsibly (Because showing these words on a screen is really going to convince you to do so). 

Why the world did not end: Reason Two

Why the world did not end: Reason Two

Reason Two: It's the holidays.

There's a lot going through our minds during this time of year. Sure, we keep in mind that it's Santa's birthday, but the thing that comes up in our minds more often than not is, "Oh God, why do we have to spend the holidays with our family?!" And wouldn't you know it, God has a lot of things on His mind as well.

The hot-line to God is usually busy all year round, but come the holiday season, it seems that more and more people try to get in touch with him for whatever reasons they may have. And I guess it's good and all, you know, trying to find some meaning in your life. But think about it this way. How do you feel when telemarketers ring your number non-stop? Spare a thought for him will you!

On top of having to put up with this, it's His son's birthday coming up. You try thinking of a present for your child who literately has everything you could want - eternal life in paradise. That's ignoring the fact you have to think of a present to get your kid for over 2000 years. Not so easy, now is it?
So I'm not surprised He dropped the ball on this one and did not follow through with the whole end-of-the-world thing. He has made mistakes in the past as well. The black plague in Europe was because He decided to take a week off. World War 1 and 2 were because He blinked for a second. Really, Him forgetting to give us the apocalypse is not the end of the world for me (pun fully intended. zing!)

But perhaps it is mainly because we killed His son. Let me ask you this: If someone killed your  child, repented and asked to live in your house for all of eternity, would you say yes? I personally wouldn't.

So what's the moral of this story? Kill anyone who claims to be a Messiah, child of God, or a prophet. It's a sure-fire way of preveting the end of the world. Also, keep praying to God about your insgnificant problems even though there are bigger issues like child slavery, famine and poverty. It'll keep Him distracted long enough to miss the date He marked on His calendar, one that is either bigger than the Mayan's, or perhaps He subscribed to the revolutionairy idea the Mayans did not which was to buy/make a new one.

Why the world did not end: Reason Three

Why the world did not end: Reason Three

Reason Three: Do you want to (differentiate 69x)?

Maths. We all hate it (except Asians, nerds, rich and successful people, people who get the title of this reason...). But remember when your teacher in primary/secondary school told you that you'll need to use maths in everyday life and you thought they were cray-cray? Well, it turns out they were right.

Now the reason why the whole Mayan doomsday thing was slated for the 21st of December was not because they were total bums and wanted to ruin Christmas for all of us (Those Scrooges! Scrooge you! Scrooge you all!), but because it so happened that the 21st of December 2012 was the date you get after converting the Mayan calendar to the Gregorian calendar (ie the 365/366 day one that most of the world uses).

If you did not know, the Mayan calendar does not use the same system as the Gregorian calendar in determining the days of a year/month. Where the Gregorian calendar uses our position relative to the sun, the Mayan calendar uses the position of the moon relative to the Earth (although what they really probably used was the phases of the moon, but that's not the point). If you are bad at maths, and also don't know that the lunar month finishes in roughly a 28 day cycle, then let me tell you that 365 and 366 is not divisible by 28.

What does that mean for all of us? This makes converting the Mayan calendar into a Gregorian one a pain because you either have to work it out by doing a day-to-day conversion, or somehow using remainders in long division (I don't know, I kind of zoned out during that lesson. Yes, I'm an Asian who zoned out during maths, sue me). Clearly, there must have been an error in the conversion, because someone forget a leap-year, or forgot to carry the one.

This leaves us two options. Either the apocalypse was supposed to have hapened before the 21st of December, which I think it is safe to say it has not (Now there's a surprise I'm sure no one would have liked!), or it is supposed to happen some time in the future.

What's the moral of the story? Maths is important, and if you are bad at it, there's still some time left for you to learn it. Not only will you then be able to predict the end of the world, or somehow use calculus and/or trigonometry in everyday life just like your maths teacher wanted you to, but you'll also get the joke imbedded in the title of this reason.

Why the world did not end: Reason Four

Why the world did not end: Reason Four

Reason Four: Thank The Doctor we did not eat our apples!

Okay, so truth be told, this one I've heard from someone else *coughsAlyssacoughs*. But it doesn't matter who the insignificant person was that told me this, the point is it made it on the list.

Now, for all of you who do not know the famous adage, it goes something like 'An apple a day helps keep the doctor away.' And who is the most famous doctor of all time? If you said McDreamy, you'd be wrong (although a case could be made about how his hair managed to stop the meteorite from crashing into the Earth). No, the doctor I'm referring to is BBC's The Doctor from the cult TV-Show, Doctor Who.

Ever since the reboot of the series in 2005, there has been a Christmas episode every year. Now even though the stories are different, the gist of each of the specials is that something dastardly happens on or near Christmas day, and who else should come to save the day, but The Doctor.

Clearly, there was supposed to be a giant ball of rock hurtling through space which would have collided with our planet and killed us all, or perhaps there was supposed to be some invisble flesh eating organism that would have eaten us all. Heck, as the little girl in the El Paso ad says, ¿por qué no los dos? *fanfare music*. But obviously, the real hero is The Doctor, who came in and with the help of his sonic screwdriver as well has his blue box that is bigger on the inside (once again, size does matter) and saved the day!

So what's the moral of the story? Stop eating apples because keeping The Doctor away is a bad idea. Unless your idea is to kill us all, then by all means go ahead.

Oh, and one other thing. If I die a suspicious death, then it totally was not because of the benevolent, most awesome girl called Alyssa *looks around worridly before flashing a fearful smile*

Why the world did not end: Reason Five

In light of the fact that almost everyone made it through the 21st of December without dying, I would like to list the top five reasons why the apocalypse failed to happen, starting with number five and working my way up to numbner one.

Reason Five: Size Does Matter!

We always say how it doesn't matter if the stone is big or small. But the truth is, girls really do care about the size of it and us guys like to think that ours is the biggest.

That's probably what happened with the Mayan calendar. When the calendar maker showed his stone to a girl and asked, "Is it big?" the girl probably was being polite when she said, "That's the biggest one I've ever seen." Even though she was secretly disappointed by how small it was. Extremely pleased by what he heard, the calendar maker got busy with his stone.

When he was finished, the calendar maker was worried about how everything was, seeing as there was only so much he could do with the stone. He asked the girl, "How is it?"

Disappointed by how little he actually managed to do with the stone, the girl was still too polite to tell the calendar maker his stone was too small. Instead she said, "It's all good. That has to be the best one ever!"

Over the moon, the calendar maker decided to keep his stone the way it was, even though there was only so much going on with it.

Moral of the story? There was only so many dates that the calendar maker could fit on his piece of stone before he ran out of room. So the point is, size does matter!

And you probably have a dirty mind too...

Wednesday, 5th December, 2012

Hello, here's what's been happening in the news today.

Source: en.wikipedia.org

Today, students from Hunter Christian School at Mayfield, located in NSW's Central Coast, were forced to evacuate school grounds after a year five student brought in a World War II pineapple grenade for show and tell.

The child must have been thinking, "What can I bring in that would blow the competition away...Oh, I know!"

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Spirce: en.wikipedia.org

 

After a decline from around 2000 to 1200 in applicants this year, the Australian Antarctic Division has extended its hiring period for the 2013-14 season.

 

I guess one of the good things about global warming is that soon, the Australian Antarctic Division won't have to worry about the shortage of applicants.

 

 

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Photograph: Robyn Beck

 

Greyhound trainers in NSW are taking industrial action against TAB, over a dispute about the share of betting money that they are receiving from the betting agency.

 

Should the industrial action fail, well, to quote Mr Burns from the Simpsons,

http://springfieldfiles.com/sounds/burns/hounds.mp3

 

 

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And that's the news for tonight! See you all next time!



Wednesday, 28th November, 2012

Hello, here's what's been happening in the news today.

Source: abc.net.au/news

Labor MP Steve Gibbons toady had to delete a post he made on Twitter, where he called Opposition Leader Tony Abbott a douchebag and Julie Bishop a narcissistic bimbo. He was then forced to apologise for the language he used to refer to Julie Bishop.

I guess that means everyone thinks Tony Abbott is a douchebag, seeing as Mr Gibbons wasn't forced to apologise for calling Mr Abbott one? Wow, Mr Abbott, you have it tough. First, a poll found that you were less popular than the carbon tax, a tax which I would like to point out that is intended to combat something you don't believe exists, and now no one, not even those from your party, is saying Mr Gibbons is wrong for calling you a douchebag. Tough break, man.

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Photograph: Guilio Saggin

Apple has today fired Mr Rich Williamson, the man responsible for Apple's failed Google Map, which is riddled with glitches.

 

After thirty-minutes, Mr Willamson was escorted out of the building after someone found him lost in a broom closet.

 

 

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Photograph: Robert Galbraith

People in the CBD of  Adelaide, Australia, can be looking forward to receiving free wifi by the end of next year, as outlined in a plan that was announced today by SA Premier Jay Weatherill.

 

Free wifi in a CBD area. Good luck trying to use it with everyone else trying to do the same.

 

 

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Source: abc.net.au/news

 





China's Communist Party newspaper made a terrible gaffe today, where it published an article by satirical US website The Onion claiming that Kim Jong-un was the sexiest man alive in their newspaper today and failed to mention that it was a satirical piece of work.

 

No one was more shocked to find out this piece of work was false, than the people of North Korea.

 

 

 

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Source: ninemsn.com.au

A drawing of a Wii GamePad on eBay had drawn a bid as high as AUD$87,226 before it was taken down by the online auction site, seeing as it was not a real video game.

 

No one was more disappointed than the man who had made the bid of AUD$87,226 knowing full well it was a drawing and still wanted to buy it.

 

 

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And that's the news for tonight! See you all next time!

Tuesday, 27th November, 2012

Hello, here's what's been happening in the news today.

Source: abc.net.au/news

The chief executive of Australian Agricultural Company, David Farley, has warned that Australia needs to pay closer attention to its agricultural policies and feed the region or risk an invasion driven by hunger, similar to the Huns.

We don't need to worry about that. With this many Chinese coming to Australia each year, we can always build our own Great Wall. But then again, just like all things made by Chinese, it will most likely be cheap and easily broken.

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Photograph: Toshifumi Kitamura

A recent poll by Nippon Research Centre has found that almost 90% of respondents to their recent survey have claimed not to have bought whale meat in the past year.

 

I guess 90% of their respondents must be done with whatever research they were doing. 

 

 

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Source: commodityonline.com

The Eurozone leaders today have finally reached a debt deal with Greece.

 

Oh, do you mean they have only now activated a plan to tackle the thing that was announced about a year ago as a disaster that needed to be fixed right away? Geez, that was quick.

 

 

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Source: ninemsn.com.au

It has been announced today that Kim Kardashian is the celebrity that was most often entered into the Bing search engine in 2012.

 

Hmm...I wonder why. Could it possibly have something to do with her big, soft bags?

 

Source: fashionfile.com.au

 



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And that's the news for tonight! See you all next time!

 





Friday, 23rd November, 2012

Hello, here's what's been happening in the news today.

Photograph: Rob Leeson

Australian Prime Minister, Julia Gillard, today has defended claims that Mr Nick Styant-Browne made on the 7:30 Report last night, in regards to the Prime Minister lying about having not seen a Commenwealth Bank fax, which would have meant she would have had knowledge about the improper use of a slush fund to purchase a house. The Prime Minister maintains that she has no recollection of seeing the document.

The Prime Minister probably wishes that she also has no recollection of knowledge about the coup against Prime Minster Kevin Rudd, making and then breaking the 'no carbon tax' promise, or the misogynistic grass patch that caused her to trip over in New Delhi.

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Source: independentaustralia.net

Tony Abbott today has revealed that under a Coalition Government, Australia's humanitarian refugee intake would be cut by more than 6,000 places.

 

"Oh my, God!" exclaimed a Nauru detainee as he heard the announcement, "Australia DOES have a humanitarian refugee intake quota!"

 

 

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Source: whatsonningbo.com

An elderly couple in the Zhejiang province in China, has had a motorway built around their home after refusing to move out, despite being offered compensation by the Chinese government.

Man, imagine backing out of that driveway and trying to merge with traffic every morning. What a nightmare!

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And that's the news for tonight! See you all next time!

 



Wednesday, 21st November, 2012

Hello, here's what's been happening in the news today.



Photograph: Stan Honda

Kevin Clash, the puppeteer of Sesame Street's famous muppet Elmo, has resigned from the part after fresh allegations of him having had sex with an underaged boy have surfaced.

I guess this puts a whole new meaning to "Tickle-me-Elmo".

*****

 

 

Source: abc.net.au/news

Sia Ka Tian, a 70-year-old Singaporean taxi driver, has been hailed a hero after he returned a bag containing over US$900,000 in cash, that he found in the back seat of his taxi.

 

Upon hearing this piece of news, one man said to another, "I told you the back seat of a taxi was a bad drop-off point." 

 

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Photograph: Dave Dyet

A new study by the Melbourne University has found that one in five older Australians are drinking alcohol at a hazardous level.

So be prepared for Brisbane's latest new binge drinking party, 'Wheelies'!



Source: superstock.com

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This next thing is not really a standard "The News As It Should Be" entry, but I thought this video was worth a mention. Enjoy!

 

Duumb Ways To Die: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJNR2EpS0jw

 

 

 

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And that's the news for tonight! See you all next time!





 

 

 

 

 

 



Tuesday, 20th November, 2012

Hello, here's what's been happening in the news today.

A report by the Human Rights Watch and Harvard Law School's International Human Rights Clinic titled 'Losing Humanity' has called for a treaty which prohibits the development of autonomous 'killer robots' before there is a chance for them to be developed.

What could possibly go wrong with autonomous killer machines? Oh, right. Well, I guess he's not going to be back.



Source: abc.net.au/news

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Source: abc.net.au/news

Peter Jackson, the director of The Hobbit trilogy, has had to deny claims that animals were maimed or killed during the filming of the first instalment of The Hobit trilogy.

 

And yet, I don't see anyone worrying about the orc that gets brutally murdered in the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

 

 

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Source: abc.net.au/news

NSW police today were baffled after finding three bags of freshly-cut marijuana with a sign reading "Free dope. Mull up.", simply lying on the side of a street.

 

Clearly the police were surprised by how 'dope' their finding was.

 

 

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And that's the news for tonight! See you all next time!



Monday, 12th November, 2012

Hello, here's what's been happening in the news today.

Photograph: Torston Blackwood

While trying to put out a fire near Port Macquarie last week, Rural Fire Service volunteers were soaked with untreated sewage when a fire-fighting helicopter mistakenly scooped water from a raw sewage pond to water-bomb the nearby blaze.

Said one volunteer to another, "Man, I didn't sign up for this shit."

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Source: jewelsdiva.com.au

A 20-year-old man in Melbourne attempted to rob a McDonalds store at gunpoint, but was foiled by staff and customers, who tackled him to the ground and held him there until police could arrive.

 

When the police arrived on scene, they were surprised  to find Grimace sitting on top of the Hamburglar.

 

 

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Source: abc.net.au/news

Google has been ordered to pay a Melbourne man $200,000 dollars, after the Victorian Supreme Court found the internet search engine had wrongly linked him to Melbourne's underworld, for when you typed in Mr Michael Trkulja's name, the search results showed pictures that linked him to gangland boss Tony Mokbel.

 

Hey, when you type in my name, Glenn Lim, you get results about a man who came close to a life sentence for importing drugs in his youth. Needless to say that is not me, and yet, you don't see me getting anything for a case of mistaken identity. I'm just saying, is all.

 

 

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And that's the news for today! See you all next time!

Wednesday, 7th November, 2012

Hello, here's what's been happening in the news today.

Source: theaustralian.com.au

Yesterday, Green Moon took first place in the Melbourne Cup.

Yes, there was an actual race yesterday. Contrary to popular belief, the Melbourne Cup is not simply a code for 'Let us all ditch work early, go to a pub and get drunk.'

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Source: ciol.com

A man in the US state of Pennsylvania has uploaded a clip of a polling machine that changed his vote from Barack Obama to Mitt Romney.

 

Oh, Obama. You forgot about the polling machine demograph, didn't you?

 

 

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Source: abc.net.au/news

A Sydney court today has heard Paul Peters, who attached a collar bomb to Madeline Pulver's neck in August 2011, admit that 'he got the wrong house', saying that he was after a trustee that he believed owed him millions of dollars.

 

Unable to find his money and unable to find the place where the person who supposedly has it lives, I'm surprised he was even able to find his way to court.

 

 

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And that's the news for tonight! See you all next time!



 



Monday, 5th November, 2012

Source: en.wikipedia.org

The Australian National University have released the results of their survey, which asked more than 2,000 people what they thought of Australian politicians. The results of the survey found that there is a growing degree of mistrust of Australian politicians by the people of Australia, in light of increasing concern about corruption within the government.

Because we all know how trustworthy politicians were to start with, and how they always mean what they say. I mean, just think about all the election promises they've kept!

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Photograph: Margaret Barnes

A whale that had beached itself for the second time since Saturday at New Year Island located off the coast of Tasmania, has finally been returned to the water for the second time last night.

 

I feel sorry for the whale, who simply wanted to lie on the beach and catch a tan. And those who freed the whale called themselves, 'wildlife experts'...

 

 

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Source: bernardtomic.com

 

Earlier today, Bernard Tomic's had pleaded not guilty to a failure to stop a motor vehicle. Not long after, the courts had found Mr Tomic guilty.

 

It really does make you wonder why Mr Tomic plea had failed. After all, the police only activated their police lights and sirens and also gestured with their hands for Tomic to pull over. That surely could mean a multitude of things besides pull over, right?

 

 

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And that's the news for tonight! See you all next time!

 

 

 

Tuesday, 30th October, 2012

Hello, here's what's been happening in the news today.

Photograph: Tyson Shine

Tiger Airlines have announced that they will be selling 60 percent of their Australian oeprations to Virgin Australia, while Virgin Australia have announced that they will be selling 10 percent of their Australian operatons to Singapore Airlines.

QANTAS wanted to join in on the crazy trading, but the other three parties simply laughed when they heard QANTAS say they had 'Australian assets'.

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Source: ninemsn.com.au

Christopher Pescott, a 23-year-old Victorian postman has been fined $400 and had his licence stripped for a month, after a video of him jumping a stunt ramp while on his morning run had gone viral.

 

In his defence, Mr Psecott was delivering the state's air mail

 

 

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Source: abc.net.au

Australia Post today announced that they plan on revolutionising the mailing industry with their digital mailboxes, which will allow their customers to connect with banks, power and water companies, and government enterprises. On top of this, Australia Post customers can expect to send each other digital mails and store them in an online vault.

 

Yeah, dude, it's called the internet and email. We have that already...

 

 

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And that's the news for tonight! See you all next time!



Wednesday, 24th October, 2012

Hello, here's what's been happening in the news today.

Source: iabaustralia.com.au

The head of Fairfax Media has told the its shareholders today that the company's revenue continues to shrink, and that future is impossible to predict.

Yeah, my grandpa said the same thing about his hairline. We all know how happened to it in the end.

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Source: abc.net.au

Associate Professor Walker of the University of Sydney, and Professor Horsley from Central Queensland University have published a book that says giving homework to primary school students is of little value, and that they are often given too much.

 

When a Chinese boy told this to his father, his father said, "Oh, you are given too much homework? Perhaps I've been giving you too much food as well?"

 

 

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Photograph: Giulio Saggin

 



A study conducted by The National Centre for Social and Economic Modelling has found that a person with a university degree is more likely to earn in excess of one million dollars more in their lifetime, than someone who did not finish year 12.

 

Which means if you've ever wondered why you haven't won the lottery yet, it's probably time to go back to school

 

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Source: abc.net.au

Scientists from the Westmead Cancer Institute in Australia today have announced that they believe that for women, there is a link between a lack of exposure to the sun, and the likelihood of developing breast cancer.

 

Go in the sun, you run the risk of getting cancer. Stay out of the sun, you run the risk of cancer. The solution? Keep running between the two alternatives!

 

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And that's the news for tonight! See you all next time!

 

 

Monday, 22nd October, 2012

Hello, here's what's been happening in the news today.

Source: abc.net.au

This morning, at Melbourne Airport, a kangaroo was found hoping around on the fifth floor of the airport's carpark.

You know your airline has problems when your mascot refuses to fly on your service and instead, would prefer to drive to its destination instead.

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Source: www.shanghaibuildingmaterial.com/

Hadyn Pierce, a Tasmanian developer, is planning to turn a morgue he owns into a motel.

 

This is his attempt to make the movie 'Hostel', a reality.

 

 

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Source: news.com.au

 

International singing sensation, Psy, walked out of an interview last week that he had with Melbourne's Fox FM radio station after, he was asked about his arrest in 2001 for possessing marijuana.

 

Psy quickly jumped on his horse and exited the interview, singing, "Gangnam style" 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bZkp7q19f0 

 

*****

 

 

And that's the news for tonight! See you all next time!

Thursday, 18th October, 2012

Hello, here's what's been happening in the news today.

Source: ninemsn.com.au

The media regulator has order 2GB's contraversial radio host, Alan Jones, to undergo 'factual accuracy' training, over false claims he made about climate change.

Alan Jones needs to fact check? Do you mean he was wrong when he said the Prime Minister's father died of shame? I always thought that was possible! Seriously guys, out of all the nonsensical things he says, you choose to step in now?

*****

 

 

Source: news.com.au

In the second Presidential Debate, Senator Mitt Romney stated that he had plenty of women working for him, that he in fact had 'binders full of women'.

 

Strange move, Senator. I try to hide that fact because usually when I say it, people ask me "Can I look? Are they hot? How much for an hour?"

 

 

*****

 

 

Source: abc.net.au

 

 

An Australian Productivity Commission plan revealed today by Commissioner Philip Weickhardt, will attempt to overhaul how the electricity system works and could see power bills slashed by up to $250 a year.

 

That's great news. That should totally off-set the bajillion dollar increase that's been happening.

 

 

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And that's the news for tonight! See you all next time! 

Wednesday, 17th October, 2012

Hello, here's what's been happening in the news today.

Source: abc.net.au

The recent speech given by Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard in regards to misogyny has caused the Macquarie Dictionary to rethink its definition of the word, who are considering broadening the meaning to include "entrenched prejudice against women".

The Macquarie Dictionairy are also considering adding to the definition: Proper Noun. Another name for Tony Abbottt, see also: Lion, mouse, budgie-smuggler.

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Source: ninemsn.com.au

During her visit to India, Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard fell face first into the ground, after having her heel snagged in a patch of wet grass.

 

So be prepared for a week long argument in Parliament about the misogynstic patch of grass.

 

 

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Photograph: Dean Lewins

 

 



During a Senate hearing today about the incident at Lucas Heights Nuclear Facility, Mr Reid interrupted the proceedings, claiming that the chief executive of the Australian Nuclear Science and Technology Organisation, Adrian Paterson, was covering up the fact three men had been contaminated in the incident.

 

Mr Reid was first suspicious when the three men in question began glowing in the dark.

 

 

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And that's the news for tonight! See you all next time!